Calling

Today in Young Women I was called to be the Second Counslor of the Laurels class, with Josie as President, Erin as First Counslor, and Annie as the Secretary. I am so excited to work with these girls!!! and Hope for the best.

Coping

"When I doubt there are things in life I just can't figure out, I trust that God is in control and I hold on to the things I know."

I know God knows each and every persons future, including all the people who come and go in your life and how they will benefit yours. Though sometimes I wish I could see ahead, I learned to have faith in the Lord that he can help me make the right choices in life, but only if I obey. This past year I learned a few things from the Lord.

I recently just lost a friend, no he didnt technicly die but he has to me. My elder made promises to me one of which was he would call me before and after his surgery. After waiting I realized he wasnt going to call, he wouldnt talk to me on the computer either, but he talked to everyone else. Then I noticed him and some girl (he is coming back this month to baptize her and she is 15) making lovey dovey comments to each other, I recognized the girls name from somewhere, I asked her how she knew him, he was her missionary and promised he would be going to a colege near cedar and they would see how their relationship goes. I suspected him writing other girls but this just didnt make sense to me. I told her i was in the same situation with the same man. She freaked out and told him, he told me to not talk to her, I left him a message saying that I was sorry for ruining anything and that I wouldnt believe anything till it came from his mouth. In response he said that we needed to just be friends and help each other out and date others yet he doesnt take anything back that he said before. This made no sense cause we have already discussed this. I told him that I was his friend and always have been, then I gave him time which he asked for. Well after 2 or 3 days it was getting hard especially with seeing the comments they would make on each others profiles.

On Sunday I was confiding in kasi (a friend he set me up w/ to tlk of mish cause we were in the same situation "in love" with our mish) told her everything, seh said she had sent him a message simply saying they needed to talk, he went off on crap and she told him he needed to tell me cause I needed closure and I deserved at least that. Then I recieve a inbox from him saying that this is how it's gonna go, communication between him/me me/his friends had to stop, he asked that i not post anything on his wall and he was getting crap from all my friends. I told him i did not understand, that they are my friends too then i told him what i was going through with all of this and reminded him I am still his friend. after sending that i noticed both the girl him, and both his sisters dropped me as friends.

Later I saw that this girl was mad so I asked if she was mad at me and she said no, then we got a talking, after hearing her say things that he was saying he told me I realized he was lying. He told her that he baisicly told me to go to hell and that i broke a commandment or something. Well I told her they were lies and then she said that he was going to call me, we said our goodbyes.

The phone rang "hello?" "who is this?" "tori" "What the hell?" "What!?!??" then he goes on to say that I called her a whore, "I never said that" and he was getting crap from all my friends especially someone named jessica "I don't know no Jessica that would be talking to you!" "Don't ever talk to me again bye!" "goodbye" after telling mom, I broke down when she started playing with my hair. I feel bad cause i kept shoving my moms hand away. Any way I didnt cry as long/ or much as I expected. not to long after the phone call and talking to mom I took off the ring he gave me, took down all the pics and things I had of him and put them in the drawer, He was gone, out of my life, and had died that night. Monday I did not go to school cause I didnt know how I would take it. I did quite well actually, It was Tuesday that was hard. Well on this past thursday I got a message from his 'mom' really from him saying "tori i told you once and i'll say it again. don't talk to me my family or friends goodbye" that didnt make sense cause I didnt talk to anyone.

It has been 8 days since he called and I am coping very well in fact I am surprised how well i am coping, how quickly I forgave him, and well just baisicly surprised at my self for the way I have been handling everything. I don't regret ever meeting him or anything that transpired in that year because I know the feelings/ promptings I had were true, it is where the Lord needed me to be, I don't know if i was ment to just help the elder or if it was for my benefit. I do know that for me it helped me become spiritually stronger, my eyes were opened to knew things.

I'm forever greatful and will continue to have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.